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Still up in the air

I have been married for about three years. One and a half months ago, my wife told me that she has fallen in love with a married co-worker and committed adultery. Initially, she was less than completely honest with me and continued to be in contact with the other man. It was only after one month that she told me the complete truth and agreed to go for counseling. She said the reasons for counseling is not to actually work on our marriage, but to help explain to me why it happened. At this moment, she still wants to be with the other guy because she believes he is THE ONE. We have been in counseling for about two weeks now. She tells me she has fallen out of love for me for quite some time now. She recognizes that I have nothing but a good and loving husband towards her. She recognizes she has a big role in not maintaining the romance in our relationship. She says she's sorry for hurting me. But she also says that she does not apologize for falling in love. She says it just happened. I am now in a fix. She believes counseling will help me understand why it happened better. Maybe forgive her. And she claims there is a 1% chance she may overcome her impulsiveness and decide to work on our marriage. But I am finding it extremely painful to continue. Especially with all her declarations that she no longer loves me and she loves the other man. I don't know if I can ever forgive the betrayal. Being a rational man, I find it hard to accept that things can just happen and that she can totally disrespect me in this manner....

Just accept that she no longer loves me and divorce her. Ending the misery of hearing she doesn't love me and begin moving on with the rest of my life. leads over Continue with the counseling, however painful it is right now, so that I can "understand her" and on the extremely slim chance that she will want to work on our marriage and it may survive. (355 days ago)

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