Should I date Jimmy and risk complete alienation from my family?

erin

Why not go out on a few dates and answer the harder questions later. Maybe after you figure out if you actually do like him. I generally think that you should follow your heart (at least initially). If you don't take the chance now then you'll never know if you should have.

kyrandil

Manipulative parents never stop being. But don't let that get in the way of your own happiness.

jtu

Judeo-Christian couples/families do exist, but that's a ways in the future for you if it happens, right? Get to know the guy, and cross that bridge when you get there.

jesse

If you really like him, date him. Life is about being happy, not making your parents happy. And well, if they love you, they'll want you to be happy.

quinn

thinking way too far in the future

seph

Families cope with this all the time.

lakmiseiru

What makes *you* happy? Your life belongs to you, not your parents or some arbitrary husband. If you like Jimmy, date him. (score one for me for clicking on the wrong option initially...)

cygnus183

Asian that's not too smart? He must be Vietnamese. jk

raloxifiend

...are you looking to get married real soon? How will you know if Jimmy is even the man you'll marry if you don't see what its like dating him first.

LGRB

Try dating him a bit, maybe he would convert? If you can not settle the differences in religions, then you will have to let him go. And parents...only listen to them if your man is abusive, posessive, or stalkerish or something. Otherwise, follow your heart.

ManWorkingHere

I married a Catholic woman who I dated in high school and 21 years later, we divorced. She thought we would be together with our 3 children until she decided she blamed me for our problems. We chose each other then but now she chose another man to live with for 2 years and then eventually marry. But you should pick who you want to be with.

cshiley

It's not wrong to date someone from a different race or religion. Not that it will necessarily be easy. You have to consider if you can withstand the conflict in your family that dating him would cause - ignore questions about marriage for now. Do you live with your parents? Are you financially dependant on them? Can they actually make your life suck in ways besides sending you nasty email? If so, then the costs of dating this guy are pretty high. In purple fairy fantasy land, if they love you, they'll get over it. I think you should date whomever you like, and if one of them turns out to be a man you want to stay with forever, you marry him, no matter what color or religion he is. Family conflict be damned, they're not living your life; if and when you have kids, you set the rules for when your parents see them. Simple enough to say "You can't visit unless you respect my spouse, their father." All that said, you might like this guy, but it doesn't sound like you really respect him. You might be interested in him mostly because he's forbidden and exotic. If you do go out with him, try to do it without making a big hairy deal of it. More like "Oh, I hadn't even noticed he's not jewish" than "Yes I am going out with an asian man so there!!!!ONE!!".

Richie

It is okay just to date someone.

aletta

you don't have to marry every guy you date.

jrockway

your parents will likely die sooner than your husband.

wdaher

It's your life. You should make yourself happy. Your parents will deal. (Also, depending on how old you are, marriage may be too far in the future to be worrying about)

transistorman

i hear this class is over, but um.... see if he'll convert?

mitsa17

You don't know how long it will last for? Or if you'll still get along with Jimmy in 2, 5 or 9 months time. Give it a go and deal with that stuff when you get to it.

Lattyware

Your life is more important to you, if your family cares enough, they should put you before religion.

stilvoid

If you put your family's happiness over your own, you risk resenting them and causing strain and possible alienation anyway. Put your own happiness first and hopefully your parents will realise it's what you want and be supportive. That's what parents are for.

geoff

It's your life. In my opinion, your duty is to love your parents and care about them, not to live your life exactly the way that they lived theirs, or let them run your life. Sooner or later they're going to have to accept that you're an independent person and have the right to make your own decisions, and that just because you don't always make the decisions they want doesn't mean that you don't love them, appreciate them, and care for them. That's a hard break to make, I know! But it's part of growing up, and has been for as long as there have been people...

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